Forgiveness and Reconciliation

A message about forgiveness and reconciliation. Something I've been dealing with for a while, now… 

These past few years, I have been working with the Lord to understand what forgiveness and reconciliation is; how to apply it to my own life. It is a full learning experience.

It has allowed me to grow in ways I never even thought I needed.

Growing up in a broken household has allowed me to make healthy relationships a priority for myself. To also curate myself into a healthy human being - mentally, emotionally and physically, for my own relationships with others. This doesn't mean I'm perfect, but this means that I am able to accept the faults of my own, and to come forth with full humility to apologize to those I have hurt. Accepting full responsibility of the consequences of my own actions.

We often think that admitting our own faults equals defeat, shame, and guilt.

Perhaps, it might even seem like admitting to our wrongs is some sort of personal death.

But it's not.

To become humble, being able to admit we have done wrong to others, and coming forth to them for forgiveness is not shameful, but rather the first step to reconciliation. It brings forth respect to you as a person to be able to make yourself so low, even if your pride is sky high. Reconciliation requires self-sacrifice in regard to our pride and ego. Healthy reconciliation requires true forgiveness. 

Forgiveness is the cost of reconciliation.

Forgiveness is possibly one of the toughest things for some of us to do. Especially when we have been wronged by another in the worst ways imaginable. But it's not impossible. For all things with the Lord is possible (Matthew 19:26). I think a lot of us associate forgiveness with weakness and foolishness when true forgiveness is actually rooted in strength and healing. We treat forgiveness as if it should be earned and not given freely. We act as though we have the right to give it and take it away, but to treat forgiveness like a toy only makes us selfish and bitter.

To forgive those who do us wrong guides us in our first step towards healing from the wrongdoings of the other person. Forgiveness isn't just for them, it is for you. For if we heal from the pains of the past, but refuse to give forgiveness to that person, or people, we then allow the doorway to pain and suffering to remain open. Every-time you think of that person, you will still be reminded of all the hurt and pain brought forth from the past. It will continue to haunt you. But to truly forgive... it allows you to be able to close the door to the pain of the past so you may move on and heal fully.

And though healthy reconciliation requires true forgiveness, forgiveness does not always equal reconciliation.

Sometimes, God asks us to forgive and to let go.

We must be humble to God and His will; to forgive and do everything on our part to open the door for healthy reconciliation, but if the person we are forgiving and reconciling with has not done their part to truly forgive you and make way for healthy reconciliation on their end as you have, God may tell you to close the door to that relationship. Doesn't mean it is forever, but it just means they have more work to do with God before they can navigate a healthy relationship with you. 

God understands our hearts.

He feels our pain,

He hears our prayers,

and He will make way.

But, we must be obedient to Him, for His ways are better than our own. And if He tells us to close a door to another, do so. And if He tells us to open the door for another, do so.

Forgiveness and reconciliation requires us to be selfless, patient and obedient to the Lord.

So please, I urge whoever is hurting from pains of their past, forgive so you may start to heal. Even if you don't feel it in your heart, say it, and the rest will fall into place. Remember, forgiveness does not mean you have to allow that person back into your life, and forgiveness does not mean that what was done was okay,.

Forgiveness means healing and starting new. 

"Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." Colossians 3:12-17 NKJV

Amen.